2nd Trimester Pregnancy/Life Q&A
- tattunicorn
- Jun 18, 2020
- 9 min read
Ok, so I promised a Q&A a while ago, better late than never, I guess? The questions are mainly pregnancy related but some are just general get-to-know-me questions that I was asked that I thought I would include.
Here are a few of your questions on Instagram...
1. How old are you?
I feel like I get asked this question a lot online and I usually ignore it because I'm one of those people that hates ageing! I'm 28 but still feel 15 !
2. Where are you from?
I'm from Cardiff, in Wales. I currently live just outside Cardiff at the moment.
3. How did you and Jay get together?
There's definitely a long version to this story! Basically, we worked together in a cocktail bar. I just finished uni and wanted a job ASAP so I could save money to go back to university and do a Masters Degree. Turns out you can't save money when you work in the hospitality industry!
It was a new cocktail bar and they recruited a bunch of fun, young people all at the same time and everyone starting together like that really brought us closer and we became a very close team and good friends. I though Jay was an idiot the first time I spoke to him. He did the typical thing most boys do (if you're a girl with tattoos) and showed me all of his tattoos, which aren't the best so I wasn't too impressed. Over the next few weeks working together we became good friends and a group of us would all hang out together after work. Eventually one thing led to another and I fell madly in love with him but played it so cool that he had no idea! I spent weeks waiting for him to realise I loved him until I decided I couldn't hang out with him anymore. My friend told him I loved him, he realised he liked me and he asked me on a date the next day. We have been together ever since.
4. How did you adjust to being in a relationship with someone with a child/co-parenting?
From meeting Jay, I knew he had a daughter. He carries a picture of her in his wallet and she is the most important person in his life. I love kids and the thought of being with someone with a child was never daunting but I know some people aren't ready for that and if that's the case STAY AWAY FROM PEOPLE WITH KIDS! You are wasting their time!
I knew I would love her as she is a part of him and I love him with all my heart and I'm lucky she is an amazing kid! I enjoy spending time with her and together as a family and I'm glad my kids will have a great older sister. Co-parenting is very hard however. It's hard having to see him get upset that he doesn't see her everyday and does get left out of parts of her life but unfortunately it can be difficult for many fathers and they aren't entitled to as many rights. I do think he wouldn't be the mature, caring and sensible person he is today if he didn't have a daughter. He just makes you feel safe, which is what I love about him the most.
5. What was Jay's and your reaction to having twins?
We both were so happy and felt so lucky! We booked an early ultrasound at 9 weeks because my anxiety had been really bad this pregnancy and I was scared of experiencing a missed miscarriage again so I decided to get some early reassurance. I had googled what an ultrasound should look like at 9 weeks and as soon as I saw the screen, I knew I was looking at a 9 week old baby in there! I was just waiting for the sonographer to confirm a heartbeat.
As she moved the wand across my belly, my heart stopped as I noticed another baby! I studied ultrasound pics online before I went so I knew I was looking at twins straight away before it was confirmed. She eventually said it's twins and they both had good heartbeats and I turned to Jay who had his head in his hands and was looking down. He didn't seem to register what the sonographer had just said, so I said "It's TWINS!". He looked up, very shocked! After we left we were over the moon and couldn't believe it! I asked him why he was looking down during the scan and he told me he noticed a heartbeat and was just so relieved he just needed a moment to let go of all the worry and anxiety. We wouldn't have cared how many babies were in there (within reason) as long as they were healthy, that's all that mattered to us! There have been a few things that have been more stressful, like worrying about the cost, needing a bigger house but overall it just feels so magical to be lucky enough to not only have one baby but two!
6. How have you been preparing for twins?
Preparing for a baby/babies is amazing and so fun but can be pretty stressful too! The hardest thing has been trying to get everything ready during coronavirus and lockdown!
The main things I have been doing is trying to keep costs low. Almost all of the clothes we have for the babies are second hand or were on sale. We decided to get the steriliser, bottles, prep machine and nappy bin from Tommee Tipee as they were having a HUGE sale on their products on Amazon. All items were over 50% off! For example the steriliser was £70, reduced to £29.50! The pram was second hand, in great condition, saving us hundreds of £'s! We have tried to keep costs as low as possible as my maternity pay will barely cover bills so it's best to save our money for when the babies get here.
Additionally, we are trying to buy a house and are waiting to get our mortgage in principle. We have found our dream home, with 4 beds, 2 bathrooms and 2 receptions so plenty of room for 2 babies, a teenager and 2 adults, and the mortgage payments will be so much lower than rent - but with coronavirus we aren't allowed to view any properties at the moment so hopefully we can when the rules are relaxed a bit more. We are also doing a massive clear-out of our current house to make room for all the baby stuff.
7. What are your plans for the nursery?
We won't have a nursery in the house we are in now as we are looking to move pretty soon and babies have to sleep in our room for the first few months anyway. When we eventually get a house, I'd love a woodland themed nursery!
8. Have you had any strange cravings?
No I haven't actually! I haven't had many cravings at all. I cant eat as much and I just hate food in general at the moment. Eating feels like such a chore whereas before it was one of my hobbies! The things I crave the most are sweet&salty popcorn, ice lollies, jacket potatoes (plain or with beans), hot chocolate, strawberries and I've had big cravings for energy drinks and alcohol... but I can't have them sadly :(
9. Have you thought of any baby names?
YES! Well, I had a boy name list and girl name list from the start but after looking over it with Jay, he hated all my names and made fun of them. I wanted something unusual and he wanted something more traditional and common. It was too stressful trying to think of names so we decided to wait until we found out the genders. When we found out we were having a boy and a girl, we each made a list of about 10-15 boy names and a list of 10-15 girl names and we had to choose at least 3 names we liked from each others lists. We wrote the names out on individual small pieces of paper and placed them on the floor and talked about which we liked and what names sounded nice together.
We decided on 2 pretty unique names as our top names but we have 2 back-up names incase we change our minds.
I love the 2 top names we have picked out as they are both from my list but Jay told me a few days ago that he thinks he likes the back-up names more, but we still have half way to go so plenty of time to change our minds! We don't want to share the names with our families as they have been very vocal about hating my choice of names!
10. What are your pregnancy essentials?
This is a great question! I have so many so I think I might do a separate blog post on this so stay tuned! Will write that up this week! I will be doing a post on baby essentials and how to budget for a baby but baby mamas need some extra love too! From clothing items, to heath and wellbeing items to just making yourself feel better during pregnancy.
.. will update insta when it's up :)
11. What's your biggest fear about becoming a mom/twin mom?
Urm, honestly I don't know how to answer this because it's all very scary! From giving birth to worrying whether they will be healthy and happy, will I make the right decisions, can we afford two babies at once, how will I cope once Jay goes back to work and I have to get 2 babies in car seats on my own and dressed and fed on my own.....
I don't think anyone can prepare for having kids at all but overall, we are just very lucky to be able to conceive, to have 2 healthy babies so far throughout this pregnancy, to have a great support network and have each other. It's going to be such a fun, magical experience, I know the good times will outweigh any hardships.
12. How have you coped with changes to your body?
Again, this is a good question! I've suffered with body dysmorphia for years and in the past eating disorders so I was a little bit worried about changes to my body but getting bigger/putting on weight and getting a bump is actually really exciting and I feel like I love my body even more and I am a lot less self conscious. There are some really great changes that come with pregnancy, bigger boobs and your hair and nails grow longer and thicker. I think the worst visible change to my appearance was how bad my skin was at the start of pregnancy! No creams or make-up could hide how bad I was breaking out, but that seems to have subsided as the weeks went on. I think the hardest thing will be adjusting to my body after pregnancy. My biggest worry is accepting my body with stretch marks and loose skin or if I'm unable to shift the baby weight but I think it's important to look past the physical appearance of your body and remember what a miracle it is to be able to carry 2 babies.
13. What's it like being pregnant during quarantine/ a global pandemic?
Honestly, good and bad. I mean, we would have liked to do a gender reveal under different circumstances with all our family, we haven't been able to celebrate the pregnancy as a family, we may not be able to have a baby shower, or the baby moon I was dreaming of and all shops are closed, so we can't enjoy baby shopping in person as opposed to online.
The worst thing is probably not having Jay at hospital appointments, I feel like he really missed out on seeing the babies at 12 weeks. I've had 3 private scans so far which he has been able to come to, so I've tried to make sure he wasn't missing too much but it's not the same because those appointments are soooo quick due to coronavirus precautions. The hospital scan was 2 hours long and he had to wait in the car for 3 hours because I had bloods done afterwards!
At the same time, we have both had time at home, being on furlough which has given us the change to spend more time with each other - he usually works 12 hour days during the week, and I have had some much needed time to rest since I've been so tired and ill! I don't know how I would have coped with my usual busy routine so it's been nice to take life a little slower.
14. Have you felt the babies move yet?
No, not yet but I am SO excited for that to happen! It's still a little early. I'm 18 weeks tomorrow but usually they say after 20 weeks you feel kicks with your first pregnancy. They've been super active on the scans so I'm hoping we will feel some kicks soon!
15. Where have you been buying your baby clothes/items from?
A lot of stuff has been second hand but I have some really cute bits from little online shops and bigger department stores with sales on so will make a separate post about baby clothes and links to shops.
16. Will the twins wear matching outfits?
Matching outfits are so cute, right? We do have some matching outfits but as a lot of their clothes are 2nd hand so won't match but as long as they're dressed that's all that matters!
17. How are you feeling now?
In the second trimester, some of the worst symptoms have now worn off. The constant nausea is gone, although the last time I was sick was only a week ago. The biggest change I think is all the symptoms are less intense and I feel more myself. I still get very tired and need to nap midway through the day or I start feeling worse but in the 1st trimester I was just like a zombie and couldn't do anything! I could't even keep my head up to watch TV so I'm feeling grateful I'm not going through that anymore!
I hope you liked this Q&A! There are a few questions I've left out as I feel they're more appropriate to include in the 3rd trimester Q&A which I intend on doing when that time comes. Additionally, anything you're curious about, feel free to ask :)
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